Parishti Project

I recently attended an anti-racism workshop, in which the host recommended attendees address microaggressions with humility, and by giving voice to the pain caused by those microaggressions.

That thing you said was hurtful to me, and I would appreciate it if you didn't say such things again.

I immediately had a visceral objection to the word humility. Humility has a place among equals, but comes across as servility whenever there is a power imbalance.

Racism deprives us of the ability to move through the world as our authentic selves. It puts the burden of translation (code-switch) on us as the price of admission (to schools, to workplaces, to relationships). Every application for entry requires our contortions, amputations, and self-mutilations. We are consumables, who must translate our authentic selves into a form that is more digestible to our consumer.

If you want to pass this exam, you will give the accepted (whitewashed) answers. So we distort our own histories to fit the common narrative.

If you want the job interview, you will change your name to an anglicized one. So we season our own identities to suit other pallets.

If you want your ideas to make a meaningful contribution, you will allow others to take credit for them. So the ideas birthed by our collective ancestral genius are surrendered to be fostered by others, historical hostages of minds that do not love them.

Each self-mutilation subtracts from us whatever will not fit. No passage ever demands that we grow, become more of our authentic selves. They make us smaller, while demanding nothing from the gatekeeper.

Now, the gatekeeper also wants our humility? She cannot have it. Not from me. Not anymore.

From me, she can have only authenticity. I will keep my own gate now.

You meant that to be an icebreaker, right?

If I read you wrong, let me know. But if you are trying to get to know me, that was a terrible opener.

Let's pretend you asked me about my hobbies. I will tell you about my favourite cookie recipe. Then we can be friends. Agreed?

Learning and growth must be the price of every engagement, because an uneducated blade is a weapon for a back-alley knife fight, not a surgical tool for building healthier relationships.